GOING FOR A BLIND DATE? THINK AGAIN

It’s something we dread and do at the same time where five minutes through it can actually make or break you. Well, I’m talking about blind dates. They have become prevalent especially with the rise of social media. You friend someone on face book and before you know it, you’re commenting on their profile pictures. This gradually evolves to in - boxes and then  you’re off to the first date.

So there you are dressed up, money in your pocket and smelling nicely. Ken com is your destination and your aim is to spot a black pendo pusha*if they still exist*. Its funny when you get there, the only pendo pusha is worn by this person whom you don’t recognize. In the profile picture, Suzie is light skin with a big fine booty and a flamboyant smile to die for. So you convince yourself that whatever you’re seeing is not the case and you decide to confirm by calling the number. She finally picks up and that is when you confirm your worst fears. You remember that all her profile pictures were always taken as a group. *whoever you thought was her was actually her best friend*:-(

 It hits you pretty hard and you let out this heavy sigh that blows your cover.  “ Umepatikana” and before you get the guts to run for your dear life, she approaches you with this big smile calling out your name. This is certainly going to be the worst 45 minutes of your life in some kenchic on river road as plans for java have somehow been cancelled.

In the case of Kevin, everything seemed to be perfect from the very beginning. The chick was just as she had envisioned her. In fact she was more than what his imagination had fathomed and she was dressed to kill in a maxi dress that really brought out her curves. He thought he was dreaming that he forgot to remember one little detail that looks can really be deceiving. Lunch at KFC was definitely the plan, you know, so that he could also rise to the occasion at the expense of his boy whom he owned money. *SMH*

It was going on so well until their food was brought to the table. Conversation certainly stopped, and the mama started digging into the chicken. She was doing it so fast that after sometime she started attracting attention from the neighboring table. Since he could not believe his eyes, all he did was stare. After she was done she asked for his piece of chicken since he  had hadly  touched it. She didn't even wait for him to approve as she’s licking her fingers in the process. With that kind of an episode, it’s no wonder Kevin is still traumatized.

All in all what I’m saying is ignore the odds at your own peril if you have to show up for a blind date.