Thursday, 21 February 2013

HOW TO KEEP PEACE DURING ELECTIONS




As the March 4 election date beckons, calls for Kenyans to maintain peace have been on the increase. Opinion leaders, foreign envoys, men and women of the cloth as well as media houses have all acknowledged the fact that Kenyans are currently more divided than ever before along political lines.

 But rather than fueling this division further, they have called out in unison for Kenyans to think beyond ethnic and political lines for the sake of peace.  Some have even warned that Kenya ought not to repeat the same mistake twice, perhaps in reference to the fatal 2007/2008 post polls chaos.

There is no doubt that everybody is so far in agreement that the need to maintain peace during the electioneering period is paramount. But the how do we do this? Here are a few suggestions;

The best we can do is vote

The impression that has been created by politicians, judging by the way they are handling their campaigns, is that we will do everything to ensure that they get elected.  In reality this, this is not true.

Regardless of love we have for our preferred candidates, be it presidential, senatorial or whatever, the best we can do is vote for them. If our votes are not enough to help them win, then that is none of our business.

Quit campaigning for you preferred candidates

In case you haven’t realized it yet, this is the most irritating thing to do especially among your friends. Besides you don’t earn anything from it and if you were the excellent campaigner that you thing you are, why didn’t they hire you as their campaign manager in the first place?

Stop watching news

I know this might sounds stupid and you probably think it’s it is impossible because we are currently being bombarded by politics from all sides. But come to think of it, you are unlikely to change you position about who you will vote for, anyway. So why don’t you take a break?

Read the constitution

Many of us have never read the constitution since 2010 and the reason we read it then was because we wanted to make a decision on whether to vote for it or against it. Friends, this is the right time to read the constitution. Incidentally, did you know that the transition from the current system government to the devolved system of government will take three years after the elections? Well, only the constitution can tell you that.


Ignore opinion polls

Opinion polls reflect popularity of candidates; not their leadership abilities.  The later should form you basis on how you ought to cast your vote. There is no guarantee that opinion polls results will be similar to the physical election results so don’t raise your hopes too high.

Don’t wear campaign paraphernalia

I know that it is you constitutional right to express your opinion freely without victimization. But unless you are attending a political rally don’t wear campaign T-shirts. It is even worse if you wear them to social events because people might hold the view that you think that your personal opinion is superior to those of others.

Avoid tribal arithmetic

Even if it could be true that politics is a game of numbers, basing the outcome of the polls on tribal allegiances is absolute balderdash. It insults the intelligence of Kenyans who are capable of making independent choices.

Vote early

It has often been said that Kenyans like doing things in the last minute. If you employer has given you a day off to go and cast your vote, why the hell do you arrive at the voting station 30 minutes to the close of voting?

Lastly but most importantly, politicians never lose sleep for the sake of Kenyans. We are the ones who lose sleep because of them and you know what? They couldn’t care less.

Watch a movie

So, after you cast your vote, what are you going to do with the rest of the day? I suggest you go back to your house and watch at least five most interesting movies. Call your friends if you want and by the time you are done, the elections will be over.

                

Thursday, 7 February 2013

THE TIDS AND BITS OF REUNIONS





The other day I was at this reunion which to me was just another excuse to get drunk. Well, judging from the look of many of those who were in attendance, I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly reunions are all about. More often than not, it’s about showing off and mostly massaging of the ego. It gets worse especially among the ladies where issues to do with age, dressing and relationships can’t help but surface. 

I can clearly remember the disappointment on a friends face after attending a reunion among her high school colleagues. She invested a considerable amount in a new outfit making sure that she looked the part but she still felt left out. First of all, her friends tagged along their hubbies.

 Just imagine the quizzical looks she received coupled up with endless questions on her love life. One of them went ahead to suggest that maybe the reason she didn’t have someone special was due to her aging looks. Even more shocking was the fact that she asked me whether I thought she looked old for her age.

Various personalities emerged in the reunion I attended which consisted of former friends from primary school. One of them was Stevo the rock star as I like to call him. Everything about this guy had to be big; from planning all the way to the parting.

Initially the plan was just a bunch of guys meeting over a tipple and reminiscing about the old good days. But this particular guy had other ideas. His definition of a reunion was similar to that of G- unit. I mean the whole package form bottles of rozay to models and private jets.  He personally listens to a particular type of music which he tried to embed on all of us without much success leaving him with ‘you are all primitive’ look after the whole ordeal. 

Then there is Mato the socialite. This one is on a whole new level, where everything to him is a party. With a wide array of friends  ranging from pastors, just in case of religious wine fests, to Somalis in cases of “Miraa abundance”, this guy sleeps, feeds and breaths the party.

 He didn’t hesitate to request for transport to the venue since he was coming from a party with his friend’s ex- girlfriend’s best friend. He’s the mayor on foursquare and checks in cheers to the freaking weekend on facebook every other day.

His favourite song is the same cheers to the freaking weekend by Rihanna and the whole time he kept pestering the rest of us on when the next reunion will be held. Who would blame him though with the free alchohol in the house?

Last but not least is Sheldon the ladies man. Quite cool until there is a slight mention of members of the opposite sex. We were all surprised when he enlightened us that his current catch was someone from Mongolia. Thank God my girlfriend has considerable pronounced looks or I wouldn’t be very comfortable with her being in the presence of this guy. 

Adding up on all the female visits in line with the phone calls he received, I can successfully conclude that the guy is a direct replica of Solomon the king. All in all, it was a good party and all I would say is long live reunions!