WHAT REALLY HAPPENS INSIDE A PSV

If you use public transport as your means of travel, then you must have had an encounter with this people. If not, then count yourself very unlucky as they’re quite a spectacle to behold. I’m talking about preachers and salespersons that thrive in the matatu business. Mostly in cheap suits and colorful shirts, this people define entrepreneurship in a whole new level.

It all starts when they kindly request for 5 minutes of our time but this further translates to almost twenty minutes. What makes it funny is that most passengers know exactly what they guy is up to but they still take time to listen. People draw inspiration from all manner of strange things let me tell you. I happened to have an encounter with one the other day on my way to town. He practically started with the usual where he was this bad guy who used to rob banks and cause havoc along the way probably even ending up on the most wanted list. A criminal of that pedigree is sure to be familiar with the citizenry, right? What keeps me wondering however is where all the money they allege to have stolen disappeared to. Before you even finish contemplating that then comes the pieces of heroism. This one specifically claimed to have the powers to identify AIDS victims at face value. They go further to expose their dirty linen in the whole bus making some of us want to reveal that Suzie whom you tell everyone to be your girlfriend has actually friend zoned you. It feels so relieving but this comes at a price, “lazima sadaka mtoe.” Kenyans are really desperate for hope in life and someone who is willing to give it even though using half baked exaggerations warrants a reward. I always thought it was never that serious until I coughed up 20 bob knowing very that’s credit for the next day. All for making me feel that I’m not alone in this unfair world.

Miss the preacher and you’re bound to encounter the sales lady who markets all manner of strange things. From tooth pastes to beauty products for the ladies that are meant to ensure you look better than Beyonce. All this at a price of 50 shillings, really!!!  Others guarantee a field trip in the garden of copulation ensuring that your maidens are more than satisfied. This one I’m not a victim but the guys sitting behind me always seem to be.*smelling PR in the air* But then again, it’s all about making that paper.