FRIEND ZONED

THE FRIEND ZONE, they say, is every guy’s nightmare. Quite unfortunate if you’re already there but if you’re not or not sure, here are some of the signs:

1.      Its early morning and you’re in one of those texting “mojos” and who best to enjoy this experience with than ‘Suzie.’ You like her; in fact, who are you kidding? You’re probably infatuated. The way she looks, her pretty face accessorized with that make up and that nose ring. She kills it and you keep thinking how she can gerrrr it. So your first text is like good morning gorgeousJ and the response after 20 mins is like mrng…you reckon that you just woke her up and you’re like, “I hope I didn’t wake you up,” and she’s like, “it’s okay.” You figure this is the best time to tell her how you missed her and how you dreamt about her. This time the response is zero and it was until you called her today that you guys talked. Then you’re in the friend zone bro.

2.      You call her today and she’s all bubbly, even calling you Hun and telling you how much she’s missing you. Well, that good feeling you’re experiencing right now is not about to last long. You’ll call her tomorrow and she’ll be all cold and dismissive and that’s when it’ll finally hit you that you’re in that place. sorrrryL

3.      This one is pretty obvious. All your calls go answered and nobody bothers to call back. It’s only Equity bank enquiring whether to close your account since it has not been active in the past one year.

4.      Do you have this mama you think you have a thing going on and somewhere out in the blues she narrates this story where she farted in the ‘mat’ right when she was about to alight?  She further goes ahead to give you the details of how she left the kange in a tight spot since everybody thought it was him. You probably thought she was keeping it real, trust, you kept telling yourself. You thought wrong bro, you’ve been friend zoned. A chick that actually likes you maintains her etiquette standards and lady like mannerisms are more often than not likely to elicit throughout your encounter.

5.      You keep inviting her to dates and she keeps insisting on bringing her girlfriends.  “Bring along your boys too,” she says. This is just a mechanism to ensure that things between you two don’t get personal at all.

6.      Going back on the issue of dates. If she’s ever busy, then you’re probably in the zone. No one in this world has the time; all we do is just creating it. Like how you were willing to miss your class just to make it happens.

7.      You’re the go getter, always tenacious when it comes getting what you want? So after 16 missed calls, the phone is finally picked up only this time by the younger sister. Need I say more………

8.      Has it been two weeks now and not even a good night text? Thought soL and that’s just the point. She can go for days without talking to you and guess what, she’ll just be fine.

9.      You’ve never met her friends and most likely through accident, you meet the crew. Funny enough, you’re the only one excited and no one seems to recall your name mentioned in any of their conversations. Welcome to the movement bro. A girl that feels something for you will look for the slightest excuse to mention your name among her peers. Even if it’s pointing out how you’ve been wearing the same YOLO T-shirt in the last 6, or is it 9 dates??!!!!

10.  The ultimate thing, however, when you finally realize that, after all, you’re never getting the P...NOT NOW NOT EVER………