MATATU CRAZE!!

       Matatus, matatus, you can’t stand them but yet again it’s impossible to leave without them. Visit most areas and you’re bound to see one suited in different sizes and varieties. They’re driven by half humans or maybe half amazing creatures whose habits are simply alien. They make you elated when they maneuver through traffic and the next second they’re on your case once you refuse to give sixty bob. This is quite ironic since they had charged you forty bob or even thirty bob just to make you board their matatu. We all know they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing but we always fall for their planks. You make a fuss out of it but you always end up paying up. The eyes befalling you make it even more embarrassing as everyone pretends to be minding their own business or even horrified by your stinginess or is it uncouth behavior. If they possessed so much money why are they not driving their own cars? Anyway that’s a story for another day.

      Imagine yourself coming out of a Research Communication class on a Monday evening bored to the core and yet to figure out a researchable topic. Oblivious to the circumstances around and getting home as your only agenda, you board a bus. This is mostly those City shuttles that resemble small trains and you seat someplace at the back. You’re contemplating on a topic until this tall and flamboyant girl enters the bus. You know, the ones that make the hair at the back of your neck stand up. She catches your attention with her exposed beautiful legs, exaggerated make up and long hair which is probably charlatan and you wish she’d sit next to you. In the back of your mind you know it has never happened and it’ll probably never will but you still have hope. She looks at her smart phone which most of the time is stitched on her hand and then gives you these disgusting look once she catches you staring. You can’t blame a guy for not having a face for TV now can you? It’s another disappointment but when you’re almost over it, this old man enters the bus, searches for a spot and automatically identifies the one next to you. It’s like magic how you and these kinds of folk always click and you’re stuck with him all the way to Kinoo.

     It doesn’t surprise you when he can’t even wait for the bus to leave the terminus before he starts assigning you duties. I enjoy being of assistance but as they say, too much of anything is poisonous. He starts by making you read phone numbers on his phone since apparently he can’t read at night. This is then followed by you turning into a Public relations officer for Brookside Milk Company since you have to explain that the yoghurt he’s carrying is not licking but it’s the condensed water as a result of refrigeration. Worse of all, you have to listen to how he has worked for 27 years with Kenya airways and how it’s impossible for him to be sucked. I try to intervene that maybe it’s probably retirement but the liquor odor from his mouth stops me. He finally alights and thanks you for the assistance even going ahead to wish you a safe trip. That leaves you thinking that maybe you were a bit unfair. As you’re contemplating that, you realize your stage is getting near and move two spots ahead just to meet your princess. You compose yourself and sit next to her. Fortunately or unfortunately she asks for the time and being the gentleman you are, check your watch and give it. Your heart skips a bit but before you could initiate a conversation, she puts her earphones back on totally ignoring your presence but these doesn’t put you off at all. What spoils your moment however is when you try to alight the bus like a conductor; you know, before the bus has come to a halt. It turns tragic when you miss a step and roll over hitting the ground with such a bang leaving the feet over your ahead. You pick yourself up very fast and try to act as if nothing happened but your princess takes none of it. She’s watching from the window laughing her heart out but being the man you’re, ignoring seems to be the only cure convincing yourself that she liked you and that was the reason why she noticed your little acrobat showcase.