EMPLOYMENT FOR THE YOUTH? TELL IT TO THE BIRDS

'You would never believe this, but it has come to the attention of the Commission for Higher Education (CHE) that some crooks are purporting to offer higher education......those crooks are ‘purporting’ because to offer power to read in these parts, one must be registered by the aforementioned commission. For obvious reasons, the crooks haven’t bothered to seek registration with CHE because their facilities are either crappy or non-existent or their tutors are illiterate quacks with forged papers – or both.....

 

....And you know what the commission wants you to do? Check their website! But what if you discover – after checking their website – that you’ve been studying at an institution of ‘advanced technology’ whose technology is limited to the Chinese pocket radio on the Principal’s desk?'  (Edward Indakwa, The Standard columnist)

When I read this peace of literature in one of the local dailies I couldn't believe my eyes. Here is a problem affecting hundreds of thousands of Kenyans. Higher education has been infiltrated by crooks who are milking cash out of unsuspecting Kenyans in broad daylight! The commission for Higher education(CHE) is evidently helpless and no single politician, especially presidential hopefuls, has come forward to talk about the issue. 

Whats even more painful is that Raila Odinga, William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta, Kalonzo Musyoka, Musalia Mudavadi, Martha Karua, Charity Ngilu, Eugene Wamalwa and the rest have all claimed to solve the problems of the youth. The biggest problem affecting the youth that these presidential hopeful have claimed to solve once they accede to the presidency is unemployment. Yet no meaningful employment can be secured without quality education. What kind of employment do these politicians claim they will offer the youth? What forms of opportunities are available to poorly trained people?

 Kenyans are not stupid. They are hungry for education because they have realized its importance. And the biggest percentage of Kenyans in colleges and universities are the youth. They are flocking colleges and university in search of this invaluable commodity.  That is why these crooks are having a field day. Therefore, it is very unfortunate for an institution like the CHE to make a helpless appeal for Kenyans to simply avoid education institutions that are not its good books. 

Something also tells me that either these politicians have lost touch with the problems affecting their electorate or this is part of a big conspiracy. Did I forget to mention that the children of most of this politicians are not schooled in this country? Let me tell you something all you politicians in Kenya. I don't care whether or not you are leading in the latest opinion polls. Neither do I give a damn whether you are the King of this or that tribe. If you don't have a plan on how you are going to sort this mess out, you ain't getting my vote.

I want to vote for a presidential hopeful who is ready ready to offer me an opportunity to compete internationally by ensuring that I get quality education. Don't promise me a job because I can look for it all by myself, if and only if I get quality education.

IS SWAG REALLY THE NEW COOL?

Your hands up if you’re sick and tired of this phenomenon word referred to as swag. (Guess I’m alone on this one). Moving on swiftly, I think it’s about time we moved on.

The word never existed in my vocabulary until a group of rappers namely, T.I and Weezy came up with a song (swagger like us) a few years back. That’s where the whole problem started as they didn’t take time to explain what they actually meant. I took it upon myself to research on the word and checking my dictionary, it means walking or behaving in a confident way and this begs question. Is that really what we’re doing? I don’t know about you but we pretty much got it twisted with the level of abuse and misuse this word is being accorded.

Cared to notice that before this word came along, skinny colourful jeans for men never existed. Please don’t bring West life in all of this, as theirs were not colourful. Also this hideous cardigan sweaters too. But Alas! As the movement grew, they became the in thing. Now a fully grown man with pink skinny jeans and well coordinated lipstick just to march is certainly attractive. All thanks to swag. Watch this space when I tell you that a man sporting a skirt is not very far from being realized. This is certainly a hallmark in swagger business.

When swag finally came around, our female fraternity suddenly realized that natural hair was not beautiful anymore. A weave however, magic. These things surely turn heads but for all the wrong reasons lack of proper maintenance being one of them. These ugly bastards are also complemented by hot pants on a cold Monday morning. Really…?!

I don’t know whether I should be talking about this, but the rise of swag also changed our dating scene. A lunch date including chips and soda at Ken chick was considered quite appropriate. The situation however is very different now as more swaggerific joints like java cropped up. You can just imagine where that leaves us, “masuferer.” It automatically makes “divas” a rare commodity.

Look at our media outlets nowadays. Its swag to expose your dirty linen for the world to see. Sex to when you switch on your radio at 6 am to when you switch it off at midnight.

Even our politicians have not been left behind in the whole craze. Their campaigns tend to have all manner of things aimed at exuding as much swag as possible. We may be young but certainly not naïve. A perfect example is when Raphael Tuju was launching his POA party. He decided to use some language which was meant to resemble sheng. It’s obvious that the obsession with having swag tricked him.

All this has blown out of proportion and you can’t help but miss when “COOL” used to rule the world.

 

THIS AND THAT ABOUT THE SOCIAL MEDIA

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The internet is full of Social networking sites such as facebook, twitter, google plus and Myspace among hundreds of others. These sites are increasingly becoming an integral part of our lives. Lets face it, these days,  the easiest and the most convenient way to connect with family and friends is through the social media.Granted, the social media have allowed people from all walks of life to spontaneously interact in real time regardless who or where they are.

But the manner in which some people are using the social media nowadays makes me fret with anger. First of all, the need by social media users to create first impressions through their profile pictures has pushed some of them to do unimaginable things. Ideally all you need for a profile picture is a close up shot of yourself or if you don't like how you look, upload a picture of something that you like, be it your favourite pet, a branch of a tree or even the sky.

Why would someone choose a photo that almost reveals their 'all and sundry' to be a profile picture, for example? Do these people stop to think what perception of themselves they will have created about who they are to their friends? Then there are those who change their profile pictures every time they make a new purchase for their word-robe! There is no point of making a fool of yourself. It makes a lot of sense to keep some things away from the glare of the public for your own good. 

Thirdly, irresponsible updates on social media has become a major turn-off to friends and, more  recently,    potential employers. Yes, potential employers are increasingly using social media profiles to determine the employability of a job seeker. Negative updates about your former employer, for example, can easily be searched for in the internet, years after you have forgotten about it. So think before you publish that facebook update or tweet.

There are those who announce their comeback on social media after weeks or months of silence; as if their absence made a difference. Get this, unless you are a news maker, your silence on social media can not make headlines even on the gutter press. Don't even make me write about those who threaten to shut down their social media accounts. The less said about these people the better. What these guys need is attention and that is the last thing I am going to give them.

Lastly, there are those people who post updates every time they change their moods. "I feel lonely", goes a facebook update. "I need a kiss", screams a tweep. We appreciate the fact that human beings experience a certain amounts of mood swings but not every Tom Dick and Harry needs to hear that. So think about your social media hygiene and do some clean up next time you log in.